You need to DIAF. No, seriously...

Pup Fan over at I Still Want More Puppies has put up the "Angry Gentlemen" signal (like the bat signal, but filled with more anger and rage!) and I'm happy to oblige.

So, this pathetic excuse for a dog owner at a Costco in Frederick, Maryland (aka "Stupid Bitch"), decided to go shopping for an hour and fifteen minutes on July 6th.  During that shopping trip, she bought pet toys/supplies for her dog, during which time Stupid Bitch left her dog in the car with the windows rolled up.  That's right, 104 degree day, she leaves the dog in the car.  Brilliant!  To top it off, she comes out of the Costco, discovers that her dog has effectively been cooked alive in her car, but is still clinging to life, and then proceeds to go stand in line and RETURN the pet supplies that she just bought.  You heartless m-fing @#!&.

Here's a link to the story:  Stupid Bitch.  And, based on this follow-up story:  Vindictive Much? it's anyone's guess what her true motives were, since apparently she got custody of the poor dog in a nasty divorce, and it was only finalized within the two weeks before the incident.  She finds the dog in distress, and her first inclination is to go return the pet supplies?  Something's rotten in Denmark, Frederick PD.

On the bright side, she's already 67, so hopefully her time left on this Earth is short, lonely, and miserable.  But I also have a problem with all the pussified Americans who must have walked by that car in the parking lot and didn't do anything about it.  Break the f-ing window.  Strap on a set of balls and save the life of an innocent and helpless creature.  Stop being passive bystanders afraid of lawsuits and liability and do something!

And as for Stupid Bitch, let's hope she's headed somewhere nice and hot in the hereafter.  But for now, Frederick County jail will have to do, assuming she's convicted of the multiple charges against her.  (And, Frederick County judges REALLY, REALLY hate criminals who are cruel to animals.)  Here's to hoping her shower gets "accidentally" stuck on maximum HOT at some point during her stay.  "Oops, sorry Stupid Bitch... the plumbing in this facility is really old... that happens sometimes."  DIAF.  And, welcome to the LIST, Stupid Bitch.

Waiting for Godot? Nope, just beer!

So I go to the local Giant to pick up some beer for the weekend on my way home from work. This is not an unusual occurrence. I'm over thirty, so the drinking age is pretty much a non-issue at this point, right? I don't usually get "carded" anymore, or whatever the cool kids are calling it these days - I certainly look 21+. Anyway, back to Giant - I've got the beer, and a few other items. Cashier looks like he's about 12, but he's the shortest line (self-serve checkout lanes were FULL with morons who apparently couldn't figure out how to use the machines, thus the cashier lane). Rings up the other items, asks for ID - I hand over ID - he checks it, punches in the DOB, hands it back to me, and then... rings the little "need a manager" bell. I'm puzzled, but figured whatever, maybe the register is having issues or something. A couple of minutes pass, people behind in line start looking forward with the annoyed "WTF?" expression on their faces, and I'm starting to feel like some sort of deadbeat whose credit card got rejected or I'm underage or something... especially since the kid offered zero explanation for what was going on, in fact he hasn't said a word to me since he rung his little bell. He then rings the bell again, at which point I ask in a fairly annoyed tone "So, is there a problem here? What exactly are we waiting for?" At which point he sheepishly admits that HE is underage, and too young to sell me beer, so he needs the manager to override the prohibition with his magical register key.

Are you F-ING kidding me? What moron manager staffs a kid at a supermarket checkout on a Friday afternoon... who cannot ring up beer? I'm no supermarket marketing expert, but I'd bet beer and wine tend to be pretty popular Friday and Saturday purchases! Just sayin'... probably best to try not to make your customers feel like deadbeats because they happen to be picking up some beer on their way home from another fun day at the office. And with all the people currently out of work - they couldn't find someone old enough to not need managerial approval for every beer or wine sale to hire for the position? Seriously? Suck it, Giant. And welcome to the List.

An hour and twenty to deliver a pizza??? F U, PJ!

When you order a pizza that you are told will arrive in 30 to 40
minutes, and then you call at the one hour mark and are told "we're
really busy tonight and it will be there in 5 minutes" and it then
takes another TWENTY minutes - memo to Papa John: UR DOIN IT WRONG.

Incidentally, your franchisee being surly on the phone when your
customer calls to check the status on their now very late order is not
the best customer service strategy. It seems more training is in
order. And, unless I'm missing something, ordering a pizza at 8:25PM
on a Sunday is not exactly prime pizza ordering time - so I don't buy
your "really busy" line of BS. Someone obviously forgot to process
the order, so man up and admit it. Maybe apologize, even if you don't
mean it. Hell, throw in some breadsticks and really sell that fake
apology! ;). But don't be a surly asshat, and don't lie to me.
Believe it or not, this isn't the first pizza I've ever ordered this
late on a Sunday, and I'm also not stupid. Treating me as such is a
sure-fire way to have me take the time to post this rant, and to
concurrently find the corporate email addresses for the Papa John's
executive team and let them know EXACTLY why I will not be ordering
from your franchise again. (Even if the only reason I ordered from
you to start with was because our local pizza joint closes early on
Sundays.)

Papa John's - you're now officially ON MY LIST!