Parade F-ers, Revisited - Holiday Edition!

Over the long holiday weekend I had the opportunity to go on a nice LONG drive covering 200+ miles of I-81 in Virginia in each direction.  I-81 recently had its speed limit raised for most of its length to 70mph.  Speaking about the new speed limit, Governor McDonnell originally said "The increase in the speed limit from 65 to 70 mph in rural and less populated areas of the state will help Virginians arrive at their destinations quicker and safer and will speed the delivery of goods and services throughout the commonwealth. This is just one step forward in our efforts to significantly improve Virginia's transportation system." News release:  70 mph speed limits announced


Well, Governor McDonnell, here's what I can tell you after driving 400 miles with the "quicker and safer" speed limit:  It's now even more difficult for trucks to pass each other on the lovely two-lane mountain interstate, especially because in the commonwealth "reckless driving" remains the utterly ridiculous 80 mph, even on an interstate where the speed limit is now 70.  That's right - you can either get Virginia's lowest level of speeding ticket  for 1-9 mph over and 3 points, or *BOOM*, misdemeanor reckless driving.  (PMIA jailtime, mandatory court appearance, etc.)  And you still have trucks trying to pass each other with one or two mile-per-hour differentials while traffic behind them queues up for a quarter mile.  Especially when trucks conveniently ignore the "commercial vehicles not allowed in left lane when operated below 70 mph" signage.


You also have the reappearance of the parade f-er, which I first wrote about here: Parade F-ers  Only now, you have an individual in right lane going 69 mph, and an individual in left lane SLOWLY passing the individual in the right lane at 71 mph.  Or the individual that continues obliviously cruising in the left lane at 71 mph, with no one to his right for miles.. because making me have to pass you on the right makes complete sense, right?  It's all the more frustrating when you then attempt to pass on the right and they SPEED UP.  As if to say "How dare you pass me on the right!" (which I wouldn't have to do if you weren't in the left passing lane forevER in the first place, dumbass!)  You can't win here in the commonwealth.  Flash your brights, people take it personally.  Pass on the right so as to avoid to the oblivtard in the left lane - people still take it personally.

Also, a side note to VDOT, which of course they will never see or read since they've banned me:  How is it that I-81S/I-77N are the same interstate, and vice versa?  Please explain how it's not confusing to be going north and south at the same time?  Your signage continues to astound me.  I know and understand that interstates share designations for certain stretches, but I'd be curious if this is the only interstate that shares completely opposite cardinal directions for the shared stretch.

While of course spending the holidays with family make dealing with the travel hassle worth it, it's still a PIA and it's something that could so easily be avoided, if people would just be considerate.  Oh, and one more thing:  HANG UP THE PHONE AND DRIVE!

And, in sad news out of the Virginia DMV...

http://jalopnik.com/5724684/virginia-dmv-revokes-worlds-greatest-license-plate

The complete and utter wussification of our country continues.  "Oh my, I am offended!  Won't someone think of the CHILDREN?"  And how does one make the cognitive leap that the 13 brain-dead drones at the VA DMV must have?  Seriously?  That's what you come up with?

Also, isn't it a bit ironic that they offend the owner of the plate in question in the process of attempting to revoke them, because 4 citizens in a Commonwealth of almost 8 million were "offended"?  I hope the Virginia DMV is flooded with requests for these, and other, humorous vanity plates.

Can I call and say I am "offended" by all the Toyota Prius drivers with their oh-so-cute "HOV-1" "99 MPG" and "HOV 4ME" bullshiat plates, as they cruise in the left lane at 54 mph?

Protip: If you're going to steal a car with a stick-shift...

http://www.gazette.com/articles/police-105279-teens-saturday.html

You should probably know how to drive said stick-shift.

I realize it's a lost art in this country (as evidenced by all the Amazing Race contestants who seem completely baffled that the cars are manuals when they get over to other countries - seriously, shouldn't that be Amazing Race 101 by this point?  Sort of like learning how to start a fire before you go on Survivor?) but still - it's not that hard to determine, before you steal said car, whether or not it's got a stick.

Allstate Presents... DC, you SUCK!

http://www.allstatenewsroom.com/releases/4654-sixth-annual-allstate-america

Congratulations, Washington DC.  As I've long suggested right here on this blog, your drivers are the worst in the entire United States, 193rd out of 193 cities ranked in the study.  In fact, you're almost twice as likely to get into an accident (95.5% to be exact, of Relative Accident Likelihood to National Average) by entering the confines of the sh**hole that is our nation's capital.  And Baltimore, our neighbor to the north, is 192nd.  *golf clap*

Maybe MPD should get off its ass and actually enforce the traffic laws.  But that's much more difficult than say... doing nothing, and letting the cameras do all the work.

(And for those of you who complain about New York drivers... 159th, and only 28.6%.  Not bad for a city of 8 million people and cabbies who actually get you where you want to go in a reasonable amount of time.)

Glad to see that WMATA is up to their usual hijinxs

Here's another entry for the annals of the Piss-poor Drivers' Academy. It was a typical Thursday morning other than the short, heavy rainfall around 7:30am. I was about to turn right onto Glebe Road from Fairfax Drive until, OH HI THERE, a Metro Access Van pulls out from a side street right in front of me and proceeds to block the turn lane for me and about ten other folks behind me. Meanwhile, there was a Ford Explorer taking up about two car lengths in the lane that the aforementioned public transport miscreant was trying to merge into. See rain soaked photo below for a detail of the cluster fuck in question:



The light turns green. Guess what happens next? The Explorer moves over to the turn lane after sitting around playing with himself for several minutes. Then again, the Explorer did have Maryland tags so I'll refrain from making any more fun because their citizens are mentally retarded.

Back to the Metro Access Van. Who uses these things? The ones I see are always empty. The van did have a number on it's rear door to call in with complaints. I decided I'd do society a favor and lay off, because if I would have called in, the end result would have resulted in the cops waiting at my apartment building this afternoon, just like how they came for Jet Blue attendant Steven Slater two hours after the incident on the tarmac.