Parade F-ers, Revisited - Holiday Edition!

Over the long holiday weekend I had the opportunity to go on a nice LONG drive covering 200+ miles of I-81 in Virginia in each direction.  I-81 recently had its speed limit raised for most of its length to 70mph.  Speaking about the new speed limit, Governor McDonnell originally said "The increase in the speed limit from 65 to 70 mph in rural and less populated areas of the state will help Virginians arrive at their destinations quicker and safer and will speed the delivery of goods and services throughout the commonwealth. This is just one step forward in our efforts to significantly improve Virginia's transportation system." News release:  70 mph speed limits announced


Well, Governor McDonnell, here's what I can tell you after driving 400 miles with the "quicker and safer" speed limit:  It's now even more difficult for trucks to pass each other on the lovely two-lane mountain interstate, especially because in the commonwealth "reckless driving" remains the utterly ridiculous 80 mph, even on an interstate where the speed limit is now 70.  That's right - you can either get Virginia's lowest level of speeding ticket  for 1-9 mph over and 3 points, or *BOOM*, misdemeanor reckless driving.  (PMIA jailtime, mandatory court appearance, etc.)  And you still have trucks trying to pass each other with one or two mile-per-hour differentials while traffic behind them queues up for a quarter mile.  Especially when trucks conveniently ignore the "commercial vehicles not allowed in left lane when operated below 70 mph" signage.


You also have the reappearance of the parade f-er, which I first wrote about here: Parade F-ers  Only now, you have an individual in right lane going 69 mph, and an individual in left lane SLOWLY passing the individual in the right lane at 71 mph.  Or the individual that continues obliviously cruising in the left lane at 71 mph, with no one to his right for miles.. because making me have to pass you on the right makes complete sense, right?  It's all the more frustrating when you then attempt to pass on the right and they SPEED UP.  As if to say "How dare you pass me on the right!" (which I wouldn't have to do if you weren't in the left passing lane forevER in the first place, dumbass!)  You can't win here in the commonwealth.  Flash your brights, people take it personally.  Pass on the right so as to avoid to the oblivtard in the left lane - people still take it personally.

Also, a side note to VDOT, which of course they will never see or read since they've banned me:  How is it that I-81S/I-77N are the same interstate, and vice versa?  Please explain how it's not confusing to be going north and south at the same time?  Your signage continues to astound me.  I know and understand that interstates share designations for certain stretches, but I'd be curious if this is the only interstate that shares completely opposite cardinal directions for the shared stretch.

While of course spending the holidays with family make dealing with the travel hassle worth it, it's still a PIA and it's something that could so easily be avoided, if people would just be considerate.  Oh, and one more thing:  HANG UP THE PHONE AND DRIVE!

Against All Odds...

I find it a coincidence that that particular Phil Collins classic came on the radio on the way to work today, as it brings up this blog's ever popular topic: driving. After spending 10 years commuting via subway to work in DC and Boston, it's a bit of a shock returning to my vehicle every day. However, the way the DC subway is running these days, it's a welcome relief.

That being said, there is a glaring lack of skill that I find with drivers in the DC/Northern Virginia area. They truly are getting in their cars everyday "Against All Odds." This goes beyond simple things such as blocking the left lane or the ever popular stop and merge. I'm thinking more along the lines of 90% (optimistic estimation here) of drivers around here should not be behind the wheel. I regularly see maneuvers that signal to me that the driver is either A) not aware or doesn't care who is around them or B) they are completely scared to be out on the road. Recipe for disaster.

I will admit that I was raised by a gearhead and in a family of automotive enthusiasts that dabble in sanctioned racing, including the Sports Car Club of America (SCCA). My father, while stationed in the Army in Southern Germany, started a road rally club for army personnel and locals and upon returning to the US, autocrossed a great deal with local clubs in the Philadelphia and Southern New Jersey region. It was during my formative years that I was instilled with a sense of responsibility about driving. While in the car, you must put 110% concentration on the job at hand and take things seriously. I was also taught how to parallel park in a 15 passenger Dodge Ram Van and also was enrolled in a defensive (on-track) driving course at 16 but those are stories for another time.

Driver training is something brushed aside these days; a lost art. How many times have you heard people say "I don't know how to parallel park." More often than you'd want to admit, I'm sure. How many times have you seen a soccer mom in a Chevy Tahoe pull a fast lane change and it appears the offending SUV in question may tip over? Classic example of not knowing the limits of gravity and your vehicle. When was the last time you saw someone signal across the intersection from you to help give you a clue of what would happen next? I thought so. These are folks who should not have a license, as they are a danger to themselves and others around them. I won't even breach the topic of how many of us know how to drive a car with three pedals these days....

Now, I'm not one to bitch and not offer a solution, so here you go. Abolish all the driving tests in each of the 50 states and start from scratch with one universally mandated test. I hear all the states rights people getting up in arms now, but we need to make this an efficient and effective process because driving should not be taken lightly. I'm envisioning a test similar to the one given in the Federal Republic of Germany, which includes a theory and practical test. These are much more comprehensive tests than the ones given in your local high school, though. They cover everything from highway driving and merging at high speeds to things such as operating a manual transmission. Also, licensing is graduated in Germany depending on skill levels and the tests that are successfully completed. In short, there are several hoops to jump through that ensure the trainee is getting the instruction required.

Along with a more industrial strength driving test, defensive driving courses should be a requirement. These courses would cover everything from skid control, handbrake turns and effective high speed cornering and threshold braking. I'm not advocating that everyone out there turn into a Michael Schumacher but having advanced car control strategies in your arsenal is more useful than one would think in everyday driving.

Along with these new measurements, drivers have to start taking driving serious, which means cell phone ban or not, get off the phone and concentrate on the task at hand. In car distractions are too prevalent these days and they are only exacerbated by these ridiculously complex navigation and entertainment systems we find in modern vehicles. Even though my car is three years old, I didn't opt for the navigation system because the last thing I need is my car talking back to me. Knowing how to read maps and having a general sense of direction is yet another lost skill. This is the reason why your fellow motorist just cut you off to zip across to the left hand turn lane. Map reading and route planning should be an integral part of the new driving test. Too many motorists rely an inordinate amount on technology to tell them where to go.

So there you have it. A few solutions to transform these shitty drivers in DC into slightly less shitty drivers. And the next time I hear someone tell me that I'm aggressive or drive way too fast, well, it is as simple as this. A famous actor once said "man's got to know his limitations." And well, I'd like to see those people merge effectively into 120 km/h traffic on the A8 just north of Munich. Amateurs.