New Year, Same Old WMATA F**k Ups

After being faced with horrendous wait times and another flurry of mechanical problems, I've written my enemies over at the Washington Metropolitan Area Transit Authority once again.....

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Dear WMATA:

For years, I have been writing to your organization in the hopes that conditions for riders in and around Washington, DC would improve. Instead, my fellow commuters and I have been faced with a flurry of illogical fare increases, piss-poor management and hazardous conditions on a regular basis. In short, it has been one damn inconvenience after another.

First, I must point out the horrendous service facing passengers as of late. Each day, I arrive at Rosslyn to transfer to the Orange line for three stops at approximately 5pm. In the past month, more often than not, the amount of Blue line trains exceeds the amount of Orange line trains which is insanity, given the volume of riders the Orange line experiences heading towards Vienna. A solution must be worked out whereby express trains are introduced or you take one of the Blue line trains and switch it to an Orange line train as it arrives at Rosslyn. There is no need for empty Blue line car after empty Blue line car to pass by as Orange line riders are standing around playing with themselves.

While we are talking about volume of passengers, it is clear that METRO must redesign the interiors of its train cars to match the times. The half-assed redesign with hand grips overhead and non-carpeted floors does little to alleviate the fact that having seats positioned into the aisle is the absolute worst way to configure a vehicle of mass transit. Instead of removing seats and potentially angering some riders, flank the seats down the side of the train car so more people can file into the middle of the car with ease. The MTA in New York does this, and so do some trains on the MBTA in Boston. It makes infinite more sense. But then again, sense is the last thing that comes to mind upon mention of WMATA.

With regards to WMATA’s fare structure, it is way too obtuse, but reflects the bureaucratic and convoluted way in which the city it serves operates. I was pleased to hear of the proposal that the peak of the peak fare was to be eliminated, but, much like the power-drunk government under which we live, no good deed goes unpunished. The elimination of this malarkey peak fare will almost certainly come at the cost of an across the board fare increase. What exactly are we, the riders, getting for this fare increase? Another steaming load of delays and aggravation? I sure as hell don’t see wait times between trains diminished or more modern equipment being pressed into service as a result of these increases.

While we are discussing wait times, why is it that I must wait until 2013 for the next train during nights and weekends? Upon leaving the Verizon Center near Chinatown last Saturday evening at around 10pm, I was faced with a 15 minute wait for a train to get to Metro Center, and then who knows how much longer of a wait for an Orange Line train back to Arlington. Upon seeing this, I left the station, was charged an exit fee for the convenience of NOT having the next train sign OUTSIDE of the station and took a cab home. Another shining example of WMATA being about as pleasurable as a hemorrhoid flare up.

I honestly don’t think you people running WMATA get it. NOT ONE DAMN PERSON wants to willingly take public transportation in this two-bit town because it is HIGHLY inconvenient and costs way too much for the service that is provided. Here’s a newsflash you dimwits: this is a capitalist society we live in, as much as the District of Columbia likes to fool itself into thinking it is some sort of socialist bastion (that frankly has failed). People will not take the subway simply because it is there. In a free market, individuals are free to move about and choose the most efficient and convenient means possible for getting from one place to another. Nine times out of ten, this decision process will preclude employing WMATA.

Finally, it was disappointing yet not surprising to read of yet another black mark against WMATA with regards to the two employees found bilking the agency of $150,000[1] by stealing fare money after it was collected. Then again, with the transit unions firmly entrenched, I wouldn’t be surprised to see miscreants such as these two back on the job before their dinner gets cold. WMATA is another shining example of the entitled few taking advantage of the hard working many.

My only question left to you, as the individuals employed to run this disturbing and downright heinous excuse of a transit authority, is how you can live with yourselves on a day to day basis? Collectively, you have demonstrated time after time that this organization is impervious to suggestions and outcries from the public paying for this beastly system. After seeing your ground troops in action around various stations and subway cars, I can firmly conclude that WMATA personnel are more ill-prepared than Egypt at the outset of the Six Day War. I hope that maybe, for five minutes, you take time out of your day to contemplate how goddamn miserable you make everyone’s day in this godforsaken city. Your system is nothing but an expensive time suck for everyone who uses it; an environment where time is but a mere abstraction and carelessness abounds.

Up yours,

Captain Diplomacy


[1] Metro employees allegedly steal as much as $150,000 in riders’ fares, TBD On Foot, January 19, 2012. http://www.tbd.com/blogs/tbd-on-foot/2012/01/metro-employee-steals-as-much-as-150-000-in-riders-fares-14287.html

Food Poisoning

Know what isn't a great way to start off 2012?  Food poisoning!  (Great jump start on losing any extra holiday weight though!)  :-P  Not being able to eat normal food for pretty much an entire week is not what I had in mind when kicking off the new year, that's for sure!

The blog's new motto

You may have noticed I changed the blog's motto to "Live every day like it's Festivus!" - because generally speaking this is a great place for the airing of grievances.  Not so sure about the feats of strength, but that's okay. Expect more to come in 2012, especially as the "end of the world" nears!  ;)

Parade F-ers, Revisited - Holiday Edition!

Over the long holiday weekend I had the opportunity to go on a nice LONG drive covering 200+ miles of I-81 in Virginia in each direction.  I-81 recently had its speed limit raised for most of its length to 70mph.  Speaking about the new speed limit, Governor McDonnell originally said "The increase in the speed limit from 65 to 70 mph in rural and less populated areas of the state will help Virginians arrive at their destinations quicker and safer and will speed the delivery of goods and services throughout the commonwealth. This is just one step forward in our efforts to significantly improve Virginia's transportation system." News release:  70 mph speed limits announced


Well, Governor McDonnell, here's what I can tell you after driving 400 miles with the "quicker and safer" speed limit:  It's now even more difficult for trucks to pass each other on the lovely two-lane mountain interstate, especially because in the commonwealth "reckless driving" remains the utterly ridiculous 80 mph, even on an interstate where the speed limit is now 70.  That's right - you can either get Virginia's lowest level of speeding ticket  for 1-9 mph over and 3 points, or *BOOM*, misdemeanor reckless driving.  (PMIA jailtime, mandatory court appearance, etc.)  And you still have trucks trying to pass each other with one or two mile-per-hour differentials while traffic behind them queues up for a quarter mile.  Especially when trucks conveniently ignore the "commercial vehicles not allowed in left lane when operated below 70 mph" signage.


You also have the reappearance of the parade f-er, which I first wrote about here: Parade F-ers  Only now, you have an individual in right lane going 69 mph, and an individual in left lane SLOWLY passing the individual in the right lane at 71 mph.  Or the individual that continues obliviously cruising in the left lane at 71 mph, with no one to his right for miles.. because making me have to pass you on the right makes complete sense, right?  It's all the more frustrating when you then attempt to pass on the right and they SPEED UP.  As if to say "How dare you pass me on the right!" (which I wouldn't have to do if you weren't in the left passing lane forevER in the first place, dumbass!)  You can't win here in the commonwealth.  Flash your brights, people take it personally.  Pass on the right so as to avoid to the oblivtard in the left lane - people still take it personally.

Also, a side note to VDOT, which of course they will never see or read since they've banned me:  How is it that I-81S/I-77N are the same interstate, and vice versa?  Please explain how it's not confusing to be going north and south at the same time?  Your signage continues to astound me.  I know and understand that interstates share designations for certain stretches, but I'd be curious if this is the only interstate that shares completely opposite cardinal directions for the shared stretch.

While of course spending the holidays with family make dealing with the travel hassle worth it, it's still a PIA and it's something that could so easily be avoided, if people would just be considerate.  Oh, and one more thing:  HANG UP THE PHONE AND DRIVE!

Dulles Toll Road / Beltway Interchange - Part III

So this piece by the esteemed Dr. Gridlock over at the WP really pissed me off.  Link:  http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/dr-gridlock/post/beltwaydulles-toll-road-work-zone-headaches-to-continue/2011/09/22/gIQAb9lanK_blog.html

Summary - you know how I've been complaining for weeks about the changes that VDOT has made to this interchange for the construction?  (Incidentally, VDOT has blocked this blog and some of its contributors on Twitter - apparently the truth hurts, even if you are Tanooki Mario!)  Apparently, this is the best they can do, because they're building a mini-Mixing Bowl, and sold our souls to the Aussies in the process.  Sucks to be us, thanks for paying increasing tolls for the privilege, though!  :-P

Hey Dr. Gridlock - how about going to bat for us?  Instead of parroting VDOT's company line, do some investigative reporting - how on Earth did this construction "plan" get approved in the first place?  To simply inform your readers that "Sorry, things will stay like this until December 2012" is not acceptable.  For those of us who drive this route daily, there's a much bigger threat coming - and that would be Old Man winter.  This interchange is currently a cluster-f of epic proportions even in good weather.  Throw some snow into this abomination and you may need the Fairfax Rescue team to get them out!

And all so the Aussies can build HOT lanes... Protip to our Aussie friends:  It's a recession.  The economy is in the deepest slumber it's been in since the Great Depression.  Guess who probably won't be spending $20 to save 5 minutes on the Beltway?  But thanks for the construction mess for three years!

Has anyone seen the sun?

Apparently it's been 11 days since we've had a bright, sunny day around these parts.  Maybe that's why everyone is so irritable and crabby lately, myself included?

I mean, we've had an earthquake, a hurricane, a power outage due to said hurricane, a tropical storm, flooding, another power outage, and now perpetual cloud cover.  What's next?

I know I haven't been posting as much as I said I would... it's just hard to be motivated lately, and things always seem to get in the way (work, flood repairs, etc.)  But I am hoping to turn things around here and get back on the spaceship, especially as the weather turns colder.

On the bright side - great win for the Giants over the Eagles today (my poor fantasy football starting decisions aside) and the Yankees are on the way to burying their rival Red Sox.  So even if it's cloudy - we'll always have sports!

He spent his whole life being too young to live the life that's in his dreams...

So let's say you're a NASA astronaut.  The shuttle program has just been forcibly ended.  NASA will be launching paper rockets for the forseeable future.  The US is paying for seats on the Russian Soyuz as our only human-rated access to space (at $56M a pop, I might add).  You'd likely be asking yourself, how the hell did we get here?

Of course, the argument goes the economy is in the proverbial toilet, there's no money, etc.  NASA accounts for 0.5% of the federal budget.  Compare that to the DoD and its "black projects" and it's not even a comparison.  (not to mention the two wars in Iraq and Afghanistan.)

Ares I was an abortion, and will never see the light of day.  Ares V may yet survive in some form or fashion as the "SLS" (aka "Senate Launch System") - but that too is a rocket to nowhere.

You may remember my post from over a year ago.  http://angrygentlemen.blogspot.com/2010/04/kennedy-would-be-really-proud.html  Sadly, nothing has changed.  The layoffs of all of those who worked so hard on shuttle continue, and the knowledge continues to walk out the doors of the VAB.

I has a sad.  More to follow.

Sometimes, you just gotta wonder...

On Thursday evening, heading home from work, my windshield was cracked by a flying rock, kicked up by a speeding bus driving partly on the shoulder, in one of the perpetual VDOT NoVA construction zones.  Why does it take VDOT longer to do anything than any other transit agency on the planet?  (Except maybe Metro... but really, that's a pretty low freaking bar.)

Now, mind you - because this hellhole of a state says "reckless driving" is 20mph over the speed limit, or anything over 80... I couldn't pass the bus, who had to already be doing 75 mph.  And, knowing my luck, I'd be the one pulled over since I'm an easier target than a big ass Loudoun County bus.

There are times when I really dislike living and driving in Virginia.  This weekend is again one of those times.

Also, at what point will VDOT do something about the cluster-fark they've created on BOTH SIDES of the Dulles Toll Road?  Eastbound there's the debacle I mentioned in my last post.  Westbound, there's now a left lane that magically disappears - right into the lane next to it - without a sign, without a marking... nothing.  The lane just... ENDS.  As if they ran out of paint, or someone put the lane lines down incorrectly in the first place.  It's incredibly dangerous.  And yet, even though several people I know have reported it, VDOT has done what VDOT does best - jack shit.  Maybe after someone dies, they'll pay attention.

Dulles Toll Road / Beltway Interchange: Another new cluster-f brought to you by VDOT!

An open letter to Steve Titunik, VDOT spokesperson, and VDOT itself.

Dear Mr. Titunik, or for these purposes, Tanooki Mario (the reason will become clear momentarily):

I don't know whether the brilliant plan to take away an additional left-hand merge lane at this interchange was yours, or if you just had the misfortune to have to be the one to publicly announce it.  However, what I can tell you, and what I've been trying to tell anyone who will listen is that IT IS NOT WORKING.  This change was made on June 13, and the morning commute has been an absolute abomination since then!  (Adding at least 20-30 minutes, even at 7AM!)  

Every single comment on the WTOP article, all 22, are negative.  See for yourself:  

http://www.wtop.com/?nid=41&sid=2420289

Every single comment on the Washington Post article - also negative.  Again, see for yourself:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/local/mazed-and-confused-at-the-beltway-interchange/2011/06/10/AGXwkeQH_story.html

I've called 1-800-FOR-ROAD.  I've tweeted.  I've emailed Dr. Gridlock and WTOP's traffic staff (VDOT  received an honorable mention on the traffic report every morning last week for this debacle!)  

The response from VDOT, and more specifically, from you?

Shouldn't your alleged "monitoring" of the situation have told you that the Toll Road is now backing up to Hunter Mill Road at 7am?  Even though the construction has been a pain in the @ss, it's never been THIS bad.  Until now, that is.

Does VDOT actually require any sort of training or engineering degrees for the people who make these decisions?  Do these people ever actually drive on these roads, especially at rush hour?  Or do you just throw changes at the map on the wall and hope for the best?  This "Megaproject" is a Megadisaster!

The signage at this location (like most VDOT signage generally) sucks.  The lane markings at this location suck.  And your latest change to actually eliminate what little asphalt existed for those of us simply trying to get to I-66E REALLY sucks.  Now we're stuck with all the Beltway-merging commuters.  Oh, and the Beltway North having only ONE lane to exit?  Another brilliant maneuver.

Get with the program, please.  My biggest fear is that once the summer school break starts, you guys will actually believe this has "fixed" things.  It hasn't.  Or worse yet, you'll "study" it for a while, or "monitor" it for a while, hoping it will resolve itself.  It won't.  This is a disaster.

FIX IT.  And don't worry, I'll keep complaining about it until you do.  I'm tired of paying for the privilege of driving on the Dulles Toll Road only to be stuck in traffic for YEARS because of VDOT's sheer incompetence.  This is going to continue until 2012?  God help us all.

Mr. Sex While Driving 85 on the Beltway Guy

Bud Light presents… real men of genius.

(Reeeeaaaaallllll men of geniusssssssssssss!)

Today, we salute you, Mr. Sex While Driving 85 on the Beltway Guy*

(Mr. Sex While Driving 85 on the Beeeeeeeeeelllltwaaay Guy!)

Not content with birthday sex, or even standard backseat action, you decided to UP the ante.

(Take it to the next leveeeeelllllll!)

30 MPH?  50 MPH?  No way, compadre!

(Vroom Vroom VROOM!)

There’s only one way to both tame this bucking bronco and keep it on the road…

Cruise control set to 85, and reverse cowgirl!

(Better open the moonroof!  Watch your heeeeeeeeead!)

You’re doing such a good job, she’s seeing stars!

Or are those just blue flashing lights?

(Uh-oh, It's the Pohhhh-Pohhhh!)

But don’t worry, soon your cellmate will be doing ALL the driving.

(I hear he drives a stick shift!)

So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, oh Cassanova of the Beltway.

And remember, where you’re going… there is no such thing as exit only.

(Mr. Sex While Driving 85 on the Beeeeeeeeeelllltwaaay Guy!)

* http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/the-state-of-nova/post/on-the-beltway-a-claim-of-drunken-sex-at-85-mph/2011/06/15/AGNgleWH_blog.html

METRO: Making Everyone Travel Ridiculously Off-Schedule

Another week of commuting pain, another letter....


Dear WMATA:

My commute home requires that I transfer from the blue line to the orange line at Rosslyn, headed towards Vienna. For the past three weeks, I have had the unfortunate circumstance to arrive at Rosslyn at 5pm and then be forced to wait, on a regular basis, over 10 minutes for an orange line train to arrive.

I am curious how WMATA summons the bold faced audacity to charge a "peak of the peak fare" when there is an inadequate amount of orange line trains running westbound and overcrowding has been a well-documented issue? It seems clear that WMATA management doesn't ride the subway on a regular basis or you are more unprepared than Poland during the German invasion of 1939. Either way, all of the riders are getting screwed on this one.

As an aside, can you please tell your train operators to stop treating the brakes like a damn on/off switch? It's getting too dangerous for riders who don't expect their constant velocity to go from about 30 mph to zero in .001 seconds.

With lowest regards,

Angry Commuter

Of the people, by the people, for the people?

[Apologies in advance for the lack of posting this month - it's been a little busy at rocketworks inc., so I haven't had the time to finish this post until now.  But, things are looking up in the posting world so expect more posting with reckless abandon!]


Now then, having said that... our wonderful Congress took us to the brink of a government shutdown, before finally realizing that paralyzing a nascent economic recovery by instantaneously putting almost a million people out of work might not be the best idea they ever had.  But it also got this Angry Rocketman thinking... and realizing that our "representatives" in Congress are truly utterly and completely out of touch with both reality, and the people they're supposedly representing.


First and foremost:  Base Salary:  $174,000


And yet, you have "representatives" that claim they are living "paycheck to paycheck" and thats why, if the government shut down, they'd still "need" their paychecks.


Rep. Linda Sanchez (D-Calif.) says she’s not willing to forgo her salary.  “I have to tell you, I live paycheck to paycheck, like most Americans,” she said Thursday afternoon on MSNBC. “It's very difficult for me to say, ‘Hey, I can give up my paycheck,’ because the reality is, I have financial obligations that I have to meet on a month-to-month basis that doesn't make it possible for me.”


Rep. Sean Duffy (R-WI) says "I guarantee that I have more debt than all of you. With 6 kids, I still pay off my student loans. I still pay my mortgage. I drive a used minivan. If you think I’m living high off the hog, I’ve got one paycheck. So I..I struggle to meet my bills right now. Would it be easier for me if I get more paychecks? Maybe, but at this point I’m not living high off the hog."

So let me see if I get this straight... you make $174K a year, and yet you are somehow living paycheck to paycheck?  #DOINGITWRONG!  And yet, it's these same apparently fiscally irresponsible morons who are supposed to both represent our interests and also control the long-term budget of this country?  Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, we are screwed!  And they also couldn't understand why the "average" federal government employee, who 9 times out of 10 is making less than $174K, would be concerned about a shutdown?  I know we can't all be rocket scientists, but this is just too much!


And, for the privilege of their utter incompetence, and dereliction of duty such as passing a budget, between the house and the senate, we pay them $94 million dollars a year, in the aggregate.  (This is leaving out the higher salaries for the party leadership and the speaker of the house, etc.)  Our taxes at work! 


What is equally troubling is that it's no longer possible for someone like yours truly to be elected to Congress. You need deep pockets just to even try to run for office!  This clearly is not what the founders intended, yet that is where we find ourselves.  Democrats and Republicans - same sh**, different animal.  The only thing they can generally agree about is disagreeing.  And it's become incredibly clear in my decades on this planet that it does not matter who controls which house, or who happens to be in the White House - it's all the same inefficient, bureaucratic, pointless BS.


More to follow.

Memo to Congress

Get your heads out of your collective asses (difficult for most of
you, especially the Tea Party) and pass an actual real f-ing budget
already. You can't keep funding shit two weeks at a time. It's
incredibly inefficient and wastes resources.

You are all a waste of space. Every single last one of you.

A Year's Hiatus From METRO And This Is What I Return To...

Something tells me that even with a devastating earthquake, the Japanese trains are keeping better time than WMATA these days. And then there's the renowned WMATA escalators. Always a source of amusement, they have become rather dangerous as of late. Witness my latest in a series of rants to METRO HQ:

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Dear WMATA:

More than likely, you have all missed my letters as of late. After a year hiatus, I'm back to riding your subways again. While I'm not thrilled with the higher prices and diminishing service, can you please do me one little favor?

CAN YOU PLEASE FIX THE LOWER LEVEL, EAST SIDE ESCALATOR AT ROSSLYN? Twice in one week I have been walking down this apparatus and one of the risers collapsed inward on me, much like the recent accident at Foggy Bottom.

Want to save some money? How about avoiding law suits resulting from someone falling through the escalator and keep up with the maintenance, huh?

Your friend,

Captain Diplomacy