There I said it. Everyone knows it. Hell, on some deep dark level of truth that you refuse to acknowledge you probably know it too. But you said "yes" when he, in your words, "finally popped the question". Good job on that. I don't know if it's because you've convinced yourself that he's the best you're going to get from the hetero part of the male half of the population (he's not), if he's really a sweet caring honest guy with a life plan that blows you away (i sincerely doubt it), or if this has been a punk'd episode years in the making that is ashton's big comeback to TV (god, i hope so). The only other remote possibility I can think of as a plausible explanation for why you're marrying this lump of misbegotten filth and shit-for-brains is that he's got some jedi fucking mindtrick shit going on up there. I'll admit it, I'm a little impressed by how he's magicked his way into your pants and into your heart, but let me clue you in. It's all smoke and mirrors.
He's going to break you. Whether it's sudden and violent when you discover that other girl he's (probably) been sexting a few months after you've tied the knot or whether it's slow and numbing through years of an unfulfilling marriage that kills one dream after another...he's going to hurt you on some deep fundamental level.
I've tried to stay out of this whole thing because inexplicably somehow he seems to make you happy. But as another Angry Gentlemen once told me "Vibrators make women happy too. That doesn't mean they should marry them."
No comments:
Post a Comment