J-E-T-S JETS JETS JETS!

Well, here we are at halftime. At least I can be secure in the
knowledge that the Giants aren't the only NY football team that's not
making the Superbowl.

(Not that I've forgiven the Giants for their pathetic performances
against the Eagles or Green Bay, but that's a story for another post,
along with the ridiculousness of a 10 - 6 team not making the playoffs
while a 7-9 team wins their division... Nice job, Suckhawks!)

We're going off the rails...

... on an icy train!  *UGH*

Oh noes, here comes an ice storm!

If there's one thing that winter in DC is famous for, it's the dreaded "wintry mix."  And the storm tonight into tomorrow is looking like a mess of snow, sleet, and freezing rain, eventually changing to rain but not before the morning commute becomes a demolition derby.  Freezing rain is the stuff nightmares are made of whenever you have to be out on the roads.  Just an eighth of an inch coating the road surface and off to the skating rink we go!  (Note:  Yes, that statement applies to you too, Mr./Mrs. SUV driving asshat.  You can hit the curb or the guardrail just as easily as everyone else - if not even easier, with your higher center of gravity.  So maybe, just maybe, you should slow down like the rest of us?)  Physics!  Whowouldathunk it?

Toyota Prius Plural Ad Campaign: Are you #$%! kidding me?

New Prius Ad Campaign

Hmmmm, plural for Prius.  While I remain partial to Prii, I'd also accept... Prisucks.  Priblows.  PriRAT-TAT-TAT as it gets riddled with .50 cal holes...

I'm thrilled they will expand to an entire lineup of vehicles, clogging the HOV lanes in Virginia, spawning little Prii babies in San Francisco (at last report also a hotbed of Prius activity), and just generally being a slalom course on the roads.  Toxic batteries are really fantastic for planet Earth, as is all the additional pollution you force every other car to unleash into the atmosphere as we slowly creep along behind your hyper-miling, 54MPH in a 65MPH speed limit zone driving, let's creep from light to light at 32 MPH so as to not use the gas motor, smug-spewing asshats.

My personal favorite is when you have two Prii side by side on the interstate, both traveling under the speedlimit, with a line of cars queued up behind them, no passing lane to go around them, as they float down the road on a cloud of their own smugness, completely unaware of the cluster-fark they've created behind them.  Or they just don't care.  Then they act shocked and appalled when you have no choice but to pass on the shoulder, or on the entrance/exit ramps, and they flash their little high beams, and shake their tiny fists through the windshield at you, as you salute them with a cloud of your exhaust.  As the old saying goes, there's no replacement for displacement, bitches!  And your tiny, battery powered toy car is no match for someone who wants your slow moving ass in his rearview mirror.

DC Metro: Lord of the Flies

http://bit.ly/hptpbM

Seriously?  Yeah... good luck with that whole "preventing terrorists through random bag checks" thing, when you can't protect passengers from groups of rowdy children.  WTF WMATA?

A dusting of snow... oh noes!

Can someone please explain to me why, even a light dusting of snow overnight (there's less than 1" on the neighborhood streets) causes both a panic at the supermarket (now there's a band name, panic at the disco!) and a demolition derby on the roads?

And, don't get me started on all the "snow lovers" in this area who are "so disappointed" that the day after Xmas blizzard missed us, and now this storm is only bringing us an inch of snow.  Memo to you white stuff addicts:  This area cannot handle two feet of snow dumped all at once.  CANNOT HANDLE IT.  Are we clear?

Apparently, the monster winter we had last year (with more snow than Rochester, NY) wasn't enough to satisfy you.  You're like the nymphos of the weather world, now that you've had it, you just want more more more!

And, in sad news out of the Virginia DMV...

http://jalopnik.com/5724684/virginia-dmv-revokes-worlds-greatest-license-plate

The complete and utter wussification of our country continues.  "Oh my, I am offended!  Won't someone think of the CHILDREN?"  And how does one make the cognitive leap that the 13 brain-dead drones at the VA DMV must have?  Seriously?  That's what you come up with?

Also, isn't it a bit ironic that they offend the owner of the plate in question in the process of attempting to revoke them, because 4 citizens in a Commonwealth of almost 8 million were "offended"?  I hope the Virginia DMV is flooded with requests for these, and other, humorous vanity plates.

Can I call and say I am "offended" by all the Toyota Prius drivers with their oh-so-cute "HOV-1" "99 MPG" and "HOV 4ME" bullshiat plates, as they cruise in the left lane at 54 mph?

So we meet again, IRS

Do you itemize your tax deductions?  (Schedule A of Form 1040?  Own a home?  Take the mortgage interest deduction?)  Congratulations - because the IRS is a slow moving, worthless, bureaucratic behemoth, you can't even FILE your taxes until "mid to late February."  IRS news release here:  http://www.irs.gov/newsroom/article/0,,id=233449,00.html?portlet=7

So, let me get this straight... ADP and all the other payroll processors were ready to "flip the switch" after this series of laws was enacted on December 17th.  January 1, 2011, they were all good to go.  But it takes the IRS an extra TWO MONTHS to implement the same changes to its "processing systems"?  Are you serious?

And, by delaying all the "early filers" - that means there will be another late-filer crunch... more delays, more nonsense, etc.  The federal government is becoming more and more useless with each passing day.  Our tax dollars at work!

So, let's see how long it will take to get a tax refund out of this fantastic agency this year...  maybe they can beat last year's record of August!

First update of 2011: Still angry!

There's going to be some big changes in the coming days to this blog.  First and foremost, the round-robin posts by various authors format obviously isn't working, so I'm taking sh1t over.  We will still have our guest contributors, but I'm not relying on others to keep things moving.  So prepare for more Angry Rocketman!

Second, the blog will soon have a twitter feed.  So if something makes me angry on my way to work, you'll hear about it.  If I'm watching the Giants game and they once again FAIL TO MAKE THE PLAYOFFS (you bitches!), you will hear about it.  All in real time, stream-of-consciousness, mind of the Angry Rocketman style.  Hope you're ready!

Follow me on twitter at @angrygentlemen - if my HTML-fu is working, there's a button on the right.  (Not a bathroom, a button...)*

Welcome to 2011 - and stay angry, my friends.

*http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bad_Moon_Rising_(song)