Traffic laws? Traffic laws?? We don't need no stinkin' traffic laws!

Apparently, now that the nuclear security summit is over, the DC Metro
Police Department ("MPD") can go back to doing what they do best...
Absolutely nothing. Driving in DC has deteriorated over the last
several years into complete anarchy. Even the DC Metro buses regard
red lights, pedestrian crosswalks and right-of-way rules as mere
inconveniences. Hell, with the number of bus accidents lately,
apparently pedestrians are speed bumps and worth two points! I
cannot recall the last time I saw MPD make a routine traffic stop.
Sure, park your car illegally and the Parking Enforcement Division
will have a ticket on your windshield within two minutes. Make an
illegal U-turn, run a red light, and speed off, all right in front of
a MPD officer? He'll continue drinking his morning coffee and look
the other way. What these guys are always standing around looking for
I have no idea - maybe they're guarding against frogmen taking over
the White House. Mind you, try that same stunt across the bridge in
Virginia and you'll be dragged out of your car and sodomized with your
still-hot tailpipe!

Since everyone here knows this, driving in DC has absolutely no rules.
It's Road Warrior incarnate. Now, where's my FBROD when I need it...