Public Policy 101 by Captain Diplomacy

You ever wonder why no one cares about politics anymore? Have you read the news lately? Note, I said READ because TV news is purely for entertainment purposes. I avoid talking politics 99% of the time because it is too divisive. However, it's gotten so bad that I had to say a few words. As usual, I will not bitch without offering up a solution, no matter how controversial. Consider it my short treatise on government:

1) You can't print money without side effects. It's not a matter of if, but when inflation will hit when the monetary supply increases. I like to use the following analogy...you can eat as many bananas as you want. Eventually you'll have to take a shit. It won't be pretty. Until the housing beast is dealt with, either in terms of writing off the debt or a bunch of people taking it on the arm as they should (i.e. those who bought shit they knew they couldn't afford), well, we're going to continue to have, as Kurtis Blow would say, hard times. And those are the breaks.

2) Before you vote on some shit, for Christ's sake, learn how to pronounce it correctly (i.e. nuCLEAR versus nuCUlear). Solution: take a goddamn grammar course you imbeciles.

3) Term limits. Two or three four year terms would be enough, allowing for an elected official who loses after their first term to come back and try again in the future. A classic example of played out politicians is Arlen Spector of Pennsylvania. After almost 30 years and losing the primary, he's still whoring himself out to try and land a gig at 1600 Penn. Ave. Yo pal, take a hint, no one in Pennsylvania wanted your ass anymore. Same with Charles Rangle in New York. Forty years of parlor tricks and using rent controlled apartments for business purposes just isn't enough. Had to come back for more, EHHHHH?

4) Voting the other way doesn't solve anything. Anyone who says "OH I'm going to vote Republican this time around and everything will get better" is a fucking idiot. Vote for who represents your values the best, regardless of party. And folks, haven't you noticed that every four years it's that same damn carousel of choices? Voting is like choosing between airplane food and hospital food. They both leave you with the same aftertaste and bad side effects.

On a visit to Austria in 2008, I was intrigued that Parliament was dissolved because they were deadlocked. Yet, a month or two later, things went back to normal, elections were held and business resumed. An enema like this is just what Congress needs right now. Shit, no business has been going on there for quite some time. They're always jammed up worse than the infamous Thanksgiving constipation of 2006 that I endured. So let's move beyond this two party bullshit, dissolve this ineffectual body and get some more perspectives to sidle up to the table.

5) Before you raise taxes, look at your spending first. The last thing you want to do is piss off the electorate who voted your ass in that sorry seat in the first place. As an example on a local level, let's look at my home, Philadelphia. Just this week they announced that bloggers would require to register for a business license, which would cost $300 for a one time fee or $50 a year.

This FU tax comes at a time when an insurance company settled for $250,000 in a harassment case involving the embattled Housing Authority chief, Carl Greene, who, oh, by the way, just defaulted on the mortgage of his over $615,035 house and was recently in to the IRS for a little over $50,000. Did I mention the guy makes $306,370, with a $44,188 bonus? That is more than Mayor Michael Nutter, Governor Ed Rendell and Housing and Urban Development Chief Shaun Donovan.

The cycle of abuse doesn't end with Greene. The director of the Philadelphia Free Library, Siobhan Reardon, makes close to $200,000 a year at a time when library services are being scaled back and branches are being closed. This leaves knowledge-hungry students with no place to go after school. As a librarian myself, this both pains and insults me. But wait, there's more. It was just reported by the Philadelphia Inquirer that the School Superintendent, Arlene Ackerman collected six days of vacation pay ahead of schedule. This comes on top of a $338,000 annual salary and $65,000 performance bonus. If she stays through next June, she'll get a $100,000 retention bonus.

Dignity needs to be restored to public service. These people are no better than common mafia shylocks, running the streets and shaking people down for a sawbuck when they can least afford it. As long as this behavior continues, I will have absolutely no respect for this government of ours. I love the United States, but I hate this government. We've gotten off track and need to steer it back in the right direction. Until such a correction happens, onward goes this (#$%&*%) thing of ours.