To the bitch in the hybrid Lexus SUV on the Dulles Connector Road early this morning who decided that the point where one lane drops off is a good opportunity to pass me when I'm moving as fast as traffic will allow without ramming the car in front of me: F-YOU.
If I had an older car that I cared just a little bit less about, and had a little less regard for my own safety, I would have boxed you out and ran your ass straight into the m-fing guardrail, hopefully with the intention of you flipping your Lexus over and watching as it burst into flames, Hollywood style. Speed limit in the construction zone is 45. You pulled your stunt at about 80, in traffic, with no room for error, and running out of daylight as your lane dropped off basically into my car. And then I watched with amazement as you cut in and out of traffic, causing near-misses and people to slam on their brakes each and every time, down the length of the Connector. But before you managed that, I hope you enjoyed me riding your @ss, brights flashing, inches off your rear bumper. You wanna play? Let's play, bitch. My car outperforms your sloppy-handling, high center of gravity hybrid - and I sure as hell can out accelerate you. And you obviously couldn't judge quite how large your precious Lexus was. Was that a little fear I detected behind those sunglasses as you kept checking your rear-view mirror? Hmmmm? Little concerned maaaaaybe you'd pissed off the wrong hombre this time?
Whoever the hell thought "Let's give hybrids an HOV exemption!" in the General Assembly in Richmond needs to be sentenced to hell, aka driving to work in NoVA on "HOV only" roads up here now filled with smug self-entitled asshats like the bitch I encountered this morning, driving solo in their hybrids that get worse gas mileage than every single one of the non-hybrid vehicles I own. This area now has more Toyota Prii per-capita than even San Francisco, and I assure you it's not because of the styling of the car (at least, I hope it's not) or the amazing performance. It's for the HOV exemption, which was supposed to have expired years ago, but gets extended year after year after year by the General Assembly.
The Virginia General Assembly treats NoVA as its piggy bank, funding the rest of this bass ackwards, stuck in the 19th century "we put the SOUTH in SOUTHern" state. And, year after year, the powerless NoVA delegation bends over and takes it up the pooper without lube, because they're powerless to do anything about it. Our roads suck, our mass transit options suck, and of course our traffic sucks. But there's 12 lane interstates around Richmond, and 4, 6, and 8 lane highways out in BFE, Virginia that get paved and then repaved every single year, because they have to spend the appropriated money on something.
To all the drivers of hybrids with the cute vanity plates like "HOV-1" , "I-66 4ME" , "EXEMPT1" - and to all the Prii that I slalom around every single morning on my commute to work as you go 54 in the left lane while another Prius goes 53 in the right lane right next to you, rolling roadblock style - one of these days, someone's going to have that older car, and that "screw this, I have good insurance" attitude, maybe they won't be having the best day, and they're going to get fed up and not take anymore of your bullsh1t. And when that day comes, enjoy the flames, bitches.
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